Tuesday, May 4, 2010

CHANGE

OMG. So much has changed since I last wrote! A new country, new job, new apartment, new friends and new love, the unique love, the love of my life! I finally returned home and realized I should 've never left. I belong here! I am happy as hell and in peace with myself. I wrote this poem on December, last year. It is an avaliation of all the changes that have been occurred back then and sumarizes exactely what I have been knowing all my life.

Desejo


Todo cuidado é pouco
Mais dia, menos dia
Ele se realiza


Palavras jogadas ao vento
Vento em movimento
Que sopra de norte a sul
Que volta pra onde partiu


Palavras ouvidas
em forma de prece
em forma de raiva
em forma de gozo
São sempre ouvidas


E por mais que pareçam esquecidas
Mais dia, menos dia
O que pediu bate à porta
Só pra te lembrar
Que a vida continua
E é sua, só sua!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

The Reader


It wasn't by choise. Oportunity met my financial situation and I've decided to buy it. "The Reader", a book I bought at one of my trips to Goodwill. As suprising it must be, Goodwill stores have excellent used books in good shape and excellent prices. That day, I acquired a bunch and concidentely chose another book about the Holocaust to please myself. I was curious to find out about all the fuzz and all the Oscar's nominations, even though I haven't seen the movie yet.

The story is told in three parts by the main character, Michael Berg. Each part takes place in a different time period in the past. It is polemic and good. The writer, not such much, at least not in my opinion. I expected more passion form a Law Professor, I think.
It is a nice book, if you are not looking for something expensive, exciting and long. You can easily finish it in two days. It took me a week, but I haven't had much time to it lately.


Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Back in Time

Today, I posted my story on Writer's Digest website. I am proud of it, but trying not to rise any expectations. I don't want to feel disappointed in the end.
The prompt was given by them: "Back in Time. A woman is given the ability to go back in time and change one event in her life."


And that is what I wrote:


In an autumn afternoon of 2000, the streets of Seattle bled with maple leaves all around. The sky was crying and every drop of tears burned my skin. The quietness was intense. The world seemed to stop only to look at me with disappointment.

My decision had been made weeks before…. The room was crowed with cowards and I felt suffocated as inside of a matchbox. All the women in it looked the same and I was one of them. On TV, The American President movie was being played and Annette Bening was everything I wanted to be at that moment; a successful professional who felt in love with the most important man in the world.

The nurse called my name and I was fore ready for the final judgment. I attended to her call. She brings me to this freezing room and I began to strip my clothes off. I lay in paper sheets and tried to cover my shame with them. A doctor entered in the space and questions were answered. Explanations were taken and so as blood. Tests needed to be performed, even though they had nothing to do with my reason there.

I spread my legs wide and gangling fingers were inserted into my reproductive nest. The pain and embarrassment dominated my being. Words of solace were lost in the air. When I finally gave in, the doctor stopped the procedure. A woman had just invaded the room and I knew her. I recognized her smell.

She looked tired and in her fifties, but she was just 33. Her scalp could be seen through spares of hair. She moved her bulimic body, approached my ears and, in a soft voice, told me:

“Everything is going to be all right now. I am here and I won’t let this happen to you. You will have what you deserve and you will be strong. You will go on and everything is going to be ok. You won’t become me.”

She placed her hand on the doctor’s, but all he could feel was just a pinch. He stopped right away and, in an oddly action, told me to get dressed and go home.

“Go and find some peace in your heart, kid.” he says.

Disturbed by all, I did what I was told and was left alone with the woman. I almost couldn't see myself in her. The guilt had just consumed her guts. She fondled my face and I burst into tears. She embraced my bag of bones, rubbed my belly and told me softly:

“I am here to save you and to give the opportunity of your life. It was not easy to come back in time, but I had to do it for my own sake, for our own sake and our baby’s too. I didn’t want you to become what I have. Look at me! I had to travel in time to rescue you. This moment was my only chance of being happy again.”

I closed my eyes for a moment and let the words furnish my cells. When I opened them, her image had disappeared. But, she was close, she was inside, she was with me. I accepted the appraisal and floated home.

Today, toddler Isabella fills my days. Runs around the house and repeats every word that I say. She is bright and has a smile that penetrates my heart. She brings tears to my eyes, tears of joy.

And looking at her I thank God. I thank Him everyday for the opportunity to migrate back in time and interrupt the procedure that has completely changed the course of my life.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Contest #2

This one is a little more ambitious, but I will try it anyway. I am already doing my research, since I have no idea what men want to read in a magazine, besides money, women and sports.

ESQUIRE FICTION CONTEST
www.esquire.com/fiction/fiction-contest

  • Open to all
  • Tittle to choose from: "Twenty-Ten", "An Insurrection"or " Never, Ever Bring This Up Again"
  • Can not exceed 4,000 words
  • Only one story per contestant
  • Due by midnight, August 1st. 2009
  • It is free
  • 1st Prize: Publication plus $2,500
  • Submissions @ esquiresubmissions.com

Good luck to all who dare to try it!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Fight

Well, days sometimes are not the way we plan. Nothing really goes the way we want. But, often we manage to have a good day. Yesterday was a good day with a fight in the end. I woke up sad and melancholic, not feeling like being at work at all. As I learned, I put my feelings down on paper and a poem came out of it. Sorry for the language. It is in Portuguese, so was the fight.

QUERER....

Eu nao QUERO mais ouvir a sua voz.
Cada nota me corta, me rasga....
So o som ja me apunhala o coracao.
Sangro com suas palavras
Que me desidrata.

QUERO sair sem culpa,
Ir embora com calma,
E refazer minha alma
Que dilacerada esta.

QUERO nascer de novo,
Conhecer meu gosto,
Descobrir a vida
E faze-la valer a pena!

QUERO respirar o ar poluido,
Queimar sob o sol ardido,
Salgar na agua do mar,
E sentir a brisa de um domingo
No meu rosto sofrido e envelhecido

QUERO estar no colo da mae
Engasgar com a fumaca do cigarro do pai
Ouvir choramingo de irmao
E me irritar com o choro do menino
Que ainda nao nasceu.

QUERO voltar pra casa!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Writing Contest #1

I dare. Do you?

I am writing a story for the WRITER'S DIGEST ANNUAL WRITING COMPETITION

  • judging criteria: creativity/humor/inventiveness
  • one entry per person
  • top 5 entries will be published - readers will vote.
  • short story with 750 words or fewer, depending on the prompt.
  • it is free, no prize, though.
  • Deadline: 07/10/2009
PROMPT: A woman is given the ability to go back in time and change one event in her life.
After submiting my story, I will post here as well. Good luck to all of us!
For more rules and submission: http://http://www.writersdigest.com/yourstory

Tips

OK. As I said before, the only way to improve my writing is to keep writing. Thus, I have been doing everything in my power to realize that.
  • I have subscribed to a "writing group", only for women. We are going to be meeting once a month to write for a few minutes and discuss our work afterwards. You, my fellow writer, can do that, too. Look for it at your local library. You can also do as I did, looking out at this website: http://www.meetup.com
  • Additionally, I keep a journal with entries at least three times a week, which I do before bed time, considering that I need to reserve some time for my reading as well.
  • I became addicted to this great website that helps me with vocabulary: http://www.thesaurus.com/
  • And have been preparing for two writing contests. (more information on the following post.)
  • Almost forgot, this blog is also a tool that I use for my creativity.
And you? What have you been doing to keep your writing alive?